Read the President: the Showdown

Let’s turn those First Amendment rights into an art form!

We are living in a time of great opportunity. Does that statement sound strange to you? Can’t get to work because your healthcare imploded, says you? Your neighbors keep getting shot? Well I’ve got great news for you!

Imagine building a time machine so that you could go back in world history and, with trembling ET-phone-home gravitas, reach out just one finger and smear a booger on Hitler’s jacket.

When we tweet at Donald J. Trump, we harness that opportunity to reach out and bug the shit out of one of the worst glops of human didymo to be vomited from the void. (Side note: what was this baby carrier company thinking, naming their company after rock snot?)

It also helps to laugh. Oh, it helps to laugh.

So, I suggest an ultimate throw-down. Many of you are already competing. I see you! Today, I am challenging the great minds of the world to an official competition to READ THE PRESIDENT.

I don’t mean this:


I mean this:


Let’s make a sport of it! If you would like to recommend any scathing opinion pieces, hilarious parodies, naming memes or even evidence of the didymo excrement released forth in Trump’s America, comment with them below! I will compile the best of the best for your entertainment.

To submit your own Donald Trump rant, please email submissions to ReadDFT {at} Gmail {dot} com with the subject line “Read Donald Trump.” These can be homegrown rants, links to Twitter burns or otherwise!

Greatest of luck to you on this most momentous of challenges!

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