Actual Wedding Registry for Real People

Getting married? That’s cute. Let me level with you.

Despite cohabitating with my spouse for NINE YEARS before getting married, I still had no idea what married life would entail, apparently; because my wedding registry was filled with things like a Le Creuset honeypot, a million different types of champagne glasses and beer steins, a Velvet Elvis and pretty much nothing that I have actually used. My life, I reasoned, would be a 24/7 cocktail party at which we would nibble on little adorable foods that one drizzles in honey.

One correction: I use the Velvet Elvis everyday. With my heart.

I was naive, but I was also cheated. Whenever you Google “Wedding Registry,” people have all of these “fun ideas” of different tiny crystal doopities and entertaining platter whatsicles and it’s really overwhelming.

So here is my list of the crap that, years later (and with two kids), I actually use. I made this a public Google doc so you can add to it too! Or, if you were gifted one of the items on my list and DON’T use it, you can put a strikethrough across it. That way people can take that item with a grain of salt.

For example, if YOU put a mandoline on there, I will have to put a strikethrough across it in BOLD.

Without further ado, I present the Actual Wedding Registry for Real People.

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