I have a guilty pleasure. I love diagnosing people with mental disorders using zero psychological background. Well, I guess I took one psychology class in college, but I don’t remember anything from it. But still: Narcissism! Bipolar! Multiple personality disorder!
Look, before you think I’m a bad person, I think it comes from a genuine interest in how people work. I make a point of checking myself when I’m doing it to those I love. I understand that people are more complicated than I might understand.
But wouldn’t it be fun to do – just for fun?!
Of course, to do so publicly would be irresponsible. Very irresponsible. But what if a few comedians did so with humour, inventing their own made-up personality disorders? I can think of a few of my own.
Sketchball disorder: feeling sketchy everywhere you go, even if you are completely innocent and totally belong there.
Delusional Clairvoyance Anxiety: the sudden fear that strikes when a bad scenario enters into your mind and you suddenly fear you might be experiencing a premonition – but it ends up not coming true
Netflix Syndrome: choosing almost too responsibly when ordering online, only to be disappointed when it actually comes in the mail. (“I chose seven documentaries in a row? I want the latest Ryan Gosling movie!”)
You get the idea. Who wants to start it with me? Let’s wait until fake news isn’t scary anymore.
Photo by Ryan McGuier